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You know it's not going to be a very productive day...
When you have email conversations like this:
Flatmate:
I think there is a monster in my head. it is very scary.
Me:
First of all don't panic (this is the worst thing you can do when a monster is in your head as it makes them dance, which can lead to dizziness and uncontrolled singing). Try making a paperclip into a hook and put it in your ear. If you use an eraser as bait (a monster's favourite food) you should be able to hook it out quite easily.
Flatmate:
It's giggling now and il se tortille (go find that one on babylon.com)... [EB's note: my flatmate is french] but it does'nt want to come out completely. do you think I should try to chocokill it?
Me:
The giggling is a very bad sign - it might mean that the monster is about to lay his eggs, so you must act quickly. The only way to get him out now is to force him to come out: You'll need to stand on your head (inversion will disorientate and frighten the monster) and hum loudly (the monster will think this is a bee, the natural enemy of all monsters). In panic the monster will look out through your nose to see what is happening. When you feel this blockage you must blow your nose as hard as you can into a sturdy hankerchief (if possible use a lilac coloured handkerchief - monsters find this colour very soothing and it will quickly fall asleep) and the little invader will be captured. If you are kind you will be able to teach it to perform simple tricks, and even to weave small items of clothing out of its soft fur. These items of clothing are very comfortable and will fetch a good price. It is well worth the investment in your time.
This will get rid of the monster, but I'm afraid I can't help you with your ill turtle. You will have to sort that one out for yourself.
I can only hope that such foolishness will continue until going home time.
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2.10.03 18:40
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I did it again...
... and this time I had an accomplice
This picture was taken at the pub - sadly I was not even drunk. The night ended on the roof of our flat:
(we woke up our neighbours trying to get the ladder up - ha ha! revenge!)
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4.10.03 14:33
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flip book
I saw 'spirited away' last week, and it was so good, that I was inspired to create this short piece of animation:  I think I will be submitting it for next years sundance festival
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6.10.03 13:02
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Neeed Sleeeeepp
I am more tired than any human being in the entire history of the universe. Now I have about 7 hours of conciousness seperating me and my bed. I think caffeine may have to be involved.
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7.10.03 10:44
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Sickie
I am off work today because I had another sleepless night, and figured even though sitting at my desk half a sleep all day was fun (especially since I get paid for it) I'd probably be better off staying in bed. This time the sleepless night wasn't even my fault though: I had amusing random mysterious chest pains that popped up periodically through the night. They seem to have stopped now, but every now and then - UNNGGHHAAH! etc. I may go to the doctors later, but right now I cooking myself a purely medicinal pizza.
Dislaimer: my face is not actually green, and I am not even in bed. This picture is indicative of general ill feeling and does not necessarily indicate any syptoms experienced. Some settling may occur during transit.
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8.10.03 14:57
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